I just read my “old” diary and realized how far I’ve come. It’s truly a miracle that only God could have preformed and I should bestow him with all my prayers and thoughts, though he already knows, only through prayer will I recieve answers, not from blogging about it and seeking answers from the internet. I mean I have nothing against blogging but the way I am using it isn’t correct. why am I blogging? to get rid of anxiety and frustration and spilling my emotions out. I should be praying about all these and searching the Bible for my guide. The truth is this is an obstacle that God has told me I must overcome, He wants to hear from me, He wants to hear how I feel and think and He would enjoy it much more than anything else. I mean this may seem insignificant for most or obsessive in a weird way and many of you still aren’t even reading this anymore but this has become part of my daily life and its something that I turn to when I am hurt or happy, thats not the way it should be, I thought that pressing that post button released my feeling and finsihed what I was thinking and it was relieving and made me feel whole for a little while but thats false. Only have I felt fully complete with God. So this is what I am doing. I have prayed about this and I know this is what the Lord wants from me. Its juat another step, one thought that I must take. Its gonna stink for a while but its not at the same time because I will have God and nothing can beat the peace He will bestow upon me.
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